25 July 2006

Lindner Trumps Truth at Enquirer

When I think of the Enquirer, I'm reminded of a John Cleese line in a Monty Python sketch, which I'll adapt thusly:

"I'd like to be an Enquirer editor, but unfortunately I have a degree."

Like most Enquirer reporters, Kimball Perry has half a brain. But there's really nothing wrong with the story he wrote about Todd Portune's sales tax idea... except the headline: "Portune proposes sales tax boost for jail".

But Portune did NOT propose a sales tax hike. As the story itself states:

"As we debate this issue, you've got to have all of the options available," Portune said Monday, stressing that he wasn't making any financing proposal.

Portune isn't proposing - not yet - that the sales tax be increased a half-cent to pay for the jail.


So the story says one thing and the headline says another. Great job, Enquirer editors.

Compare the Enquirer's headline to the Business Courier's:

Portune suggests new sales tax option.

So is Portune an intelligent, fiscally prudent, civic-minded leader who wants all options on the table, or is he a tax-raising liberal atheist Democrat who hates Jesus?

Why did the Enquirer editors choose an obviously misleading headline? Here is the answer in terms even Enquirer readers can understand:

(1) The Enquirer is Carl Linder's bitch.
(2) Carl Lindner has his own tax plan, which would lower property taxes and raise sales taxes. In other words, he would lower his tax burden and the rest of us would make up the difference.
(3) Phil Heimlich is also Carl Lindner's bitch, and he is promoting the Lindner tax hike.
(4) If the Enquirer makes Portune look like a tax-raising liberal Democrat, it may help the Lindner/Heimlich tax hike.

Once again we are reminded of the Enquirer's alternate moniker, The Lindner Fellator.

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