21 July 2006

A Modest Proposal

Invest in schools now or jails later... that's the adage, right?

Looks like it's true:

Crowded Prisons Forcing Transfers.

School Cuts Could Be Even Bigger.

As every good Republican knows, using tax money to solve these problems is ludicrous, outrageous, preposterous and horrifically liberal. Forcing taxpayers to pay for schools and jails is a 100-ft. tsunami of communism. State lottos and slot machines make much more sense. Let the market solve the problem, I say!

But there is another cheap option, and that is to cull the prison population by eating prisoners. They can be served for lunch in the schools, thereby killing two birds with one stone. In fact, now that I think about it, stoning the prisoners to death is a very good idea, and children should participate in it. It will teach them important Biblical principles. Displaying the 10 Commandments in the lunchroom may not be enough. We need to have stoning, too. It's for the children. Won't someone please think of the children?


Michelle Fry said...

Oh my god. This post made me laugh out loud. I say we have school children hang the prisoners on crosses. That would be the best. Then they could maybe release one prisoner for good behavior but the prisoner would have to shout, "I am Barabass!" before they could be considered for early release. A crown of thorns would be good too.

WestEnder said...

Wow, those are great ideas. You should run for school board in Kansas.

Michelle Fry said...

I should most definitely run for the school board in Kansas. Children are our future you know.