18 August 2008

Weekend in Cleveland

Disclaimer: reading this post is probably a waste of your time.

I've never been to Cleveland until this weekend when I went up for a friend's wedding. It was a catholic ceremony but get this: the chapel (a) had comfortable chairs instead of pews, (b) was air conditioned, and (c) was bright. Moreover, the ceremony was only 30 minutes.

So if you want a Catholic ceremony without the... you know, Catholicism, do it at John Carroll University (sort of a Xavier on steroids).

After the ceremony we went to Sammy's which is in the gi-normous Legacy Mall (sort of a Newport on the Levee on steroids). The reception was nice and the groom's sister (who was best woman) gave a hilarious yet touching powerpoint presentation/toast.

When we walked into Sammy's I saw some cards for the Saffron Patch restaurant. This was a coincidence since I saw a commercial for it back at the hotel room. I asked my cousin (who lives in Cleveland) about it and she talked about how it's great and she knows the owner and goes there all the time. I have no idea what that means because she's full of shit half the time but I was excited about the appetizers nonetheless: tandoori chicken pieces, tandoori shrimp, and samosas.

Sadly, they sucked. The chicken stood out by being nothing special but the shrimp was terrible and the samosa, which I didn't even finish, was just dough-wrapped mashed potatoes. If you've had samosas, you know they can be a whole lot of spicy goodness. Not this time.

Worse, the bartender apparently mistook the words "vodka tonic" for "tonic tonic." I learned my lesson and subsequently got the wine which was very good. The vodka was Grey Goose which would have also been very good if I got any of it.

The dinner, in stark contrast to the appetizers, was excellent. Featured in the buffet was tandoori lamb chops, a specialty of Saffron Patch. They were delicious and probably the tenderest meat I've ever eaten. I went back three times.

Later that night during the dancing phase, the ghost of Oktoberfest possessed the DJ and he spun up the chicken dance. No idea where that came from but everybody loved it.

Because of a lingering foot injury, I returned to the hotel early along with a few couples who had to put their young 'uns to bed. In the elevator we met an excited woman who was anxious to get back to her room and watch Michael Phelps go for his eighth medal. It was good we ran into her because I thought his final race was Sunday, not Saturday. So I went back, elevated my leg, and watched the historic moment. Great stuff.

If you want to try tandoori lamb chops in Cleveland, go to Saffron Patch. Other than that this post was probably a waste of your time but I warned you, didn't I?


Anonymous said...

I hate to tell you but that ceremony couldn't have been officially Catholic if it was under an hour.

Unknown said...

I think Xavier is John Carroll on steroids. Is it possible some guy with long hair, a beard and sandals turned the vodka into wine? Hasn't he pulled a trick like that at a wedding before? Hope your injury improves rapidly. It has not affected your sense of the absurd.

mandy jeanne said...

that sounds like it had to be the best catholic wedding ever. the last catholic wedding i attended was at least three hours, or maybe days- i can't be sure as i slipped into a coma at some point during the ceremony.

if you want a GOOD goose and tonic, drop by my bar sometime and let me mix one up for you!

WestEnder said...

It's hard to pass up an invitation like that! I'm out that way every now and then so I'll stop by. Assuming you televise Bengals games, I anticipate needing quite a few of those GOOD drinks...

5chw4r7z said...

If you didn't have time to make it to Little Italy I'll shed a tear.

As for Catholic weddings, I'll only go if its family. Hours and hours in an un-air conditioned church isn't a fun way to spend a Saturday dressed up. And then if its before 5 it doesn't count for Sunday.

WestEnder said...

There's a Little Italy in Cleveland? I didn't even know that. I'll ask my cousin about it next time. I'm sure she knows the owner and goes there all the time...