24 February 2010
18 February 2010
Cincinnati vs. New York
I can understand why everyone is upset about A.A. Gill's recent hit piece in Vanity Fair. Few of us Cincinnatians ever get the chance to venture to exotic places like New York in a flying-machine so we naturally assume the rumors of its magnificent museums, buildings, parks, etc. are true. But this is not the case. I know this because I am one of the few Cincinnatians who has been there. Here is my story.
I recently made a trip to New York to personally visit the offices of Vanity Fair magazine. I am taking a class called “How to Get Your Writing Published” and one of the assignments was to visit an actual magazine to see how everything works. My first step was to do some research to find out which magazine would be best. While walking home from my second job at the Creation Museum, I passed a tanning/hairstyling salon and noticed a copy of Vanity Fair on the table. I knew that this was a sign from Jesus and thus my research was complete.
When I arrived in New York, the first thing I realized was that they spell it “Newark.” Yeah, I’m not kidding… those hip and stylish “Newarkers” can’t even spell their own city! As an angry, combative person by nature I was really pissed off about this and I began to hate the city.
Then I went to the publishing offices which were in Times Square. Well, guess what? I drove around all day and couldn’t find it. As far as I can tell, there is no place in Newark called “Times Square.” How do their employees get there? How do they get FedEx deliveries? I have driven a lot around the Midwest and I’m pretty good at finding things but I couldn’t find Times Square in Newark. And the Newarkers were no help, either. They are just as rude as people claim. When I told them I was looking for Times Square they just laughed. The problem was not me, it was them.
And that’s not all; while driving around this supposedly great city, I have so say I was very disappointed. This place is dirtier than my cousin's pig pen before he cleaned it up to impress my sister when they went-a-courtin'. I saw a few big buildings but nothing King Kong would ever bother with. And Godzilla would probably just take a dump on it. As a matter of fact, based on the way it smelled, he probably did. Mostly I saw garbage, abandoned and boarded buildings and scary people. And I’m pretty sure I heard gunshots.
I recently made a trip to New York to personally visit the offices of Vanity Fair magazine. I am taking a class called “How to Get Your Writing Published” and one of the assignments was to visit an actual magazine to see how everything works. My first step was to do some research to find out which magazine would be best. While walking home from my second job at the Creation Museum, I passed a tanning/hairstyling salon and noticed a copy of Vanity Fair on the table. I knew that this was a sign from Jesus and thus my research was complete.
When I arrived in New York, the first thing I realized was that they spell it “Newark.” Yeah, I’m not kidding… those hip and stylish “Newarkers” can’t even spell their own city! As an angry, combative person by nature I was really pissed off about this and I began to hate the city.
Then I went to the publishing offices which were in Times Square. Well, guess what? I drove around all day and couldn’t find it. As far as I can tell, there is no place in Newark called “Times Square.” How do their employees get there? How do they get FedEx deliveries? I have driven a lot around the Midwest and I’m pretty good at finding things but I couldn’t find Times Square in Newark. And the Newarkers were no help, either. They are just as rude as people claim. When I told them I was looking for Times Square they just laughed. The problem was not me, it was them.
And that’s not all; while driving around this supposedly great city, I have so say I was very disappointed. This place is dirtier than my cousin's pig pen before he cleaned it up to impress my sister when they went-a-courtin'. I saw a few big buildings but nothing King Kong would ever bother with. And Godzilla would probably just take a dump on it. As a matter of fact, based on the way it smelled, he probably did. Mostly I saw garbage, abandoned and boarded buildings and scary people. And I’m pretty sure I heard gunshots.
I wouldn't put much stock in A.A. Gill's opinion. He really doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to judging other cities. I know because I’ve been to New York.
10 February 2010
Venice on Vine is Your Metaphorical Cheddar
"Good food for a good cause," that is the motto of Venice on Vine. Like Cincinnati Cooks!, Venice on Vine is an instructional food service operation, a place where people who want to turn their lives around can learn marketable job skills.
It's a cool little place on the corner of 13th and Vine:
I got a Venice pizza years ago when it was in a different location that pretty much nobody knew about. I only found out about it because I met a nun who supervised the operation and she told me about it. I ate the pizza with a friend and we thought the crust was a little weak but we liked the cheese and toppings. I wanted more cheese but I grew up in Pizza Hut's America whereas she recently spent 2 years in Italy and was fine with it.
I was near the current location last week and I stopped in for lunch. I had the steak hoagy with pizza sauce and all the toppings:
They even brushed melted butter on the bun which I have not seen in my other steak hoagy adventures around town. The hoagy was warm and tasty. Next time I might ask for extra cheese and red onion to take it to the WestEnder level. The staff was friendly and provided service with a smile.
Venice is not complicated fru-fru food. They don't have "micro" greens, foams or reductions on triangular plates. They have good food at a good price that hits the spot when that is what you want.
Put it this way: sometimes you want manchego or wensleydale and sometimes you want something less, but not less to the point of brick- or muensterish regret. You want cheddar. Venice on Vine is your metaphorical cheddar.
It's a cool little place on the corner of 13th and Vine:
nice retro/mod vibe and fresh flowers to boot
I got a Venice pizza years ago when it was in a different location that pretty much nobody knew about. I only found out about it because I met a nun who supervised the operation and she told me about it. I ate the pizza with a friend and we thought the crust was a little weak but we liked the cheese and toppings. I wanted more cheese but I grew up in Pizza Hut's America whereas she recently spent 2 years in Italy and was fine with it.
I was near the current location last week and I stopped in for lunch. I had the steak hoagy with pizza sauce and all the toppings:
They even brushed melted butter on the bun which I have not seen in my other steak hoagy adventures around town. The hoagy was warm and tasty. Next time I might ask for extra cheese and red onion to take it to the WestEnder level. The staff was friendly and provided service with a smile.
Venice is not complicated fru-fru food. They don't have "micro" greens, foams or reductions on triangular plates. They have good food at a good price that hits the spot when that is what you want.
Put it this way: sometimes you want manchego or wensleydale and sometimes you want something less, but not less to the point of brick- or muensterish regret. You want cheddar. Venice on Vine is your metaphorical cheddar.
01 February 2010
Don't Read this if You're Jenny McCarthy
The British physician who first claimed a link between vaccines and autism has just had his research deemed unethical by the General Medical Council (in addition to being deemed wrong by everyone else). It now has to decide whether to revoke his medical license. From Time.com:
In a ruling on Jan. 28, The General Medical Council, which registers and regulates doctors in the U.K., ruled that [Andrew] Wakefield acted "dishonestly and irresponsibly" during his research and with "callous disregard" for the children involved in his study.
It criticized Wakefield for carrying out invasive tests, such as colonoscopies and spinal taps, without due regard for how the children involved might be affected. It also cited Wakefield's method of gathering blood samples — he paid children at his son's birthday party $8 to give blood — and said that Wakefield displayed a "callous disregard for the distress and pain the children might suffer."
The panel also criticized Wakefield for failing to disclose that, while carrying out the research, he was being paid by lawyers acting for parents who believed their children had been harmed by the MMR jab.
The panel's ruling follows a refutation of Wakefield's research from the scientific community. Ten of 13 authors in the Lancet study have since renounced the study's conclusions. The Lancet has said it should not have published the study in the first place, and various other studies have failed to corroborate Wakefield's hypothesis.
Wakefield is now the Executive Director of the Thoughtful House autism center in Texas, which the Times of London recently claimed receives millions of dollars in donations each year.
In a ruling on Jan. 28, The General Medical Council, which registers and regulates doctors in the U.K., ruled that [Andrew] Wakefield acted "dishonestly and irresponsibly" during his research and with "callous disregard" for the children involved in his study.
It criticized Wakefield for carrying out invasive tests, such as colonoscopies and spinal taps, without due regard for how the children involved might be affected. It also cited Wakefield's method of gathering blood samples — he paid children at his son's birthday party $8 to give blood — and said that Wakefield displayed a "callous disregard for the distress and pain the children might suffer."
The panel also criticized Wakefield for failing to disclose that, while carrying out the research, he was being paid by lawyers acting for parents who believed their children had been harmed by the MMR jab.
The panel's ruling follows a refutation of Wakefield's research from the scientific community. Ten of 13 authors in the Lancet study have since renounced the study's conclusions. The Lancet has said it should not have published the study in the first place, and various other studies have failed to corroborate Wakefield's hypothesis.
Wakefield is now the Executive Director of the Thoughtful House autism center in Texas, which the Times of London recently claimed receives millions of dollars in donations each year.
27 January 2010
Job > Street Cred
Man wearing Statue of Liberty costume and handing out cards for a tax prep business:
18 January 2010
Inner City Dangers, vol. MCMXVII
I was walking around, minding my own business and all of a sudden this fence comes up and tries to grab my throat and strangle me:
03 January 2010
Resolution: Limburger
It's the time for New Year's resolutions, which means it's time for people to pretend they're really going to travel more, learn a new language, get that promotion, lose weight, etc.
Fuck that. Last year, I had two resolutions: to try head cheese and limburger cheese. My head cheese experience was awful but on the upshot there's a different (and likely better) brand of head cheese that I can try this year, thereby getting two years out of the same resolution.
I waited until the last minute for the limburger experience but it happened, thanks to a holiday gift package from a "friend" who wanted to help me meet my limburgerine goal.
I don't know where she found it (update: now I do) but it's imported from a place I'm guessing is The Netherlands:
I could barely catch a whiff of the cheese while wrapped. After unwrapping, I have to say I was astonished-- maybe even a bit disappointed-- at the absence of the olfactory assault for which I had prepared myself for two days. There was hardly any "smelly feet" aroma with this particular limburger. I presume this has at least something to do with its age (riper = smellier).
It's a semisoft cheese, sliceable but not really spreadable. I tried it on rye bread, first with red onion:
The limburger had a creamy texture and mellow flavor, like a muenster except with taste. Red onion is potent so it can overwhelm the cheese if there is too much in one bite. This combination was tasty but I felt like it could get to the next level if there was something spreadable on the bread. I will come back to this.
Next I tried it with anchovies:
I liked the combination of the salty anchovies and the creamy limburger. This is a good little snack. I would think a tapenade would also work, especially for people who freak out when they see anchovies.
As far as the missing spreadable ingredient, I am going to try liverwurst and then the chicken liver mousse I made for a party, most of which is leftover because nobody wanted to try it even though it's really good.
Fuck that. Last year, I had two resolutions: to try head cheese and limburger cheese. My head cheese experience was awful but on the upshot there's a different (and likely better) brand of head cheese that I can try this year, thereby getting two years out of the same resolution.
I waited until the last minute for the limburger experience but it happened, thanks to a holiday gift package from a "friend" who wanted to help me meet my limburgerine goal.
I don't know where she found it (update: now I do) but it's imported from a place I'm guessing is The Netherlands:
I could barely catch a whiff of the cheese while wrapped. After unwrapping, I have to say I was astonished-- maybe even a bit disappointed-- at the absence of the olfactory assault for which I had prepared myself for two days. There was hardly any "smelly feet" aroma with this particular limburger. I presume this has at least something to do with its age (riper = smellier).
It's a semisoft cheese, sliceable but not really spreadable. I tried it on rye bread, first with red onion:
The limburger had a creamy texture and mellow flavor, like a muenster except with taste. Red onion is potent so it can overwhelm the cheese if there is too much in one bite. This combination was tasty but I felt like it could get to the next level if there was something spreadable on the bread. I will come back to this.
Next I tried it with anchovies:
I liked the combination of the salty anchovies and the creamy limburger. This is a good little snack. I would think a tapenade would also work, especially for people who freak out when they see anchovies.
As far as the missing spreadable ingredient, I am going to try liverwurst and then the chicken liver mousse I made for a party, most of which is leftover because nobody wanted to try it even though it's really good.
Conclusion: I will eat limburger again. If it's good enough for Gomer Pyle, it's good enough for me.
29 December 2009
The Obama-Manson-Insurance Industry Connection
I guess this is what happens when the entire advertising team goes on holiday at the same time and the subs don't know which model agency to use:
22 December 2009
H1N1 Vaccination Info
The H1N1 vaccine is now available to the general public. Give yourself a special holiday present and get vaccinated.
Details are here (info is in Word documents so you'll need Windows). Save yourself time by downloading and filling out the consent form in advance!
Details are here (info is in Word documents so you'll need Windows). Save yourself time by downloading and filling out the consent form in advance!
21 December 2009
Top 10 Cincinnati Fails 2009
10) WBDZ. You gotta give WBDZ some credit. Year after year of on-air racism, ignorance and outright absurdity and yet somehow Bill Cunningham seems to get all the attention. A couple of gems from 2009 are the theory that "they" invented HIV/AIDS to "wipe out" black people, and Chris Smitherman's claim that young black men will not be allowed to ride the streetcar. RATIONALITY FAIL.
9) The Banks Project. An opportunity for a world class waterfront development, the Banks Project instead typified Cincinnati's modus operandi when it comes to progress: too many chiefs, political bickering and default authority to men in suits. The result? A glorified strip mall. VISION FAIL.
8) Downtown "Tea Party" protest. Nothing more than a circus of ignorant suburban white people who can't spell, read or think, this dittohead parade was a spectacle so ridiculous it can't even be parodied. It's hard to choose a favorite sign but I'll go with "Get an AMERICAN dog!" PROTEST FAIL.
7) Metropolelawsuit HUD complaint. Reasonable people agree that there is a major incongruity in this list: CAC, Nicholson's, Bootsy's, Righteous Room, Jeff Ruby's, Aronoff Center, Nada and low income housing. Reasonable people also agree that the dignity of Metropole tenants should be respected and they should be given assistance in relocation. Current reports suggest 3CDC is going to great lengths to do that. It's sad that Legal Aid and the Coalition for the Homeless appear more interested in exploiting the situation for activist self-aggrandizement than in actually being part of a solution that could be better for downtown and the tenants. To wit, a Legal Aid attorney as quoted in CityBeat: "What the owners of this building are trying to do is cleanse downtown of people like you. They want rich, white people.” Ah, yes, the race card... the last resort of a lost cause. BIG PICTURE FAIL.
6) It was a great year for totally ridiculous public statements, which is why this one is a 3-way tie. First is Chris Smitherman's statement that young, black men will not be allowed to ride the streetcar. Second is Jeff Ruby's Enquirer full-page ad questioning police layoffs as a budget solution. It was so replete with misinformation and ignorance that Roxanne Qualls had to put aside a good part of her morning to address all of it. And finally we have Brad Wenstrup's hilariously asinine assertion that he felt safer in Iraq than in downtown. PUBLIC STATEMENT FAIL.
5) Election year pandering. To a certain extent, this is to be expected. But when candidates promise not to consider trimming the single largest category of municipal spending in the midst of a fiscal crisis, that is special-interest pandering at its best and civic leadership at its worst. LEADERSHIP FAIL.
4) Brian Kelly. He took his team to the Sugar Bowl then lied to them then ditched them then gave a press conference in which he talked about his integrity. OFF-FIELD FAIL.
3) Leslie Ghiz. Proving my theories that (a) Twitter is a toy for people who have nothing to say to interact with people who have nothing to do, and (b) Being a Republican in Cincinnati is just too fucking easy... Leslie Ghiz's puerile huffing and puffing over Laketa Cole was a disappointment even to those of us who expect stupidity from Ghiz. SOCIAL MEDIA FAIL.
2) Cincinnati voters. Apparently, acting like a bratty child and making a fool out of oneself is not enough to turn off voters. Both Ghiz and Cole got re-elected. VOTER FAIL.
1) Issue 9. The issue that exposed the NAACP and COAST as circus sideshows run by circus clowns, the issue that was "about letting the people decide" ended up going just that. BACKASSWARDS FAIL.
9) The Banks Project. An opportunity for a world class waterfront development, the Banks Project instead typified Cincinnati's modus operandi when it comes to progress: too many chiefs, political bickering and default authority to men in suits. The result? A glorified strip mall. VISION FAIL.
8) Downtown "Tea Party" protest. Nothing more than a circus of ignorant suburban white people who can't spell, read or think, this dittohead parade was a spectacle so ridiculous it can't even be parodied. It's hard to choose a favorite sign but I'll go with "Get an AMERICAN dog!" PROTEST FAIL.
7) Metropole
6) It was a great year for totally ridiculous public statements, which is why this one is a 3-way tie. First is Chris Smitherman's statement that young, black men will not be allowed to ride the streetcar. Second is Jeff Ruby's Enquirer full-page ad questioning police layoffs as a budget solution. It was so replete with misinformation and ignorance that Roxanne Qualls had to put aside a good part of her morning to address all of it. And finally we have Brad Wenstrup's hilariously asinine assertion that he felt safer in Iraq than in downtown. PUBLIC STATEMENT FAIL.
5) Election year pandering. To a certain extent, this is to be expected. But when candidates promise not to consider trimming the single largest category of municipal spending in the midst of a fiscal crisis, that is special-interest pandering at its best and civic leadership at its worst. LEADERSHIP FAIL.
4) Brian Kelly. He took his team to the Sugar Bowl then lied to them then ditched them then gave a press conference in which he talked about his integrity. OFF-FIELD FAIL.
3) Leslie Ghiz. Proving my theories that (a) Twitter is a toy for people who have nothing to say to interact with people who have nothing to do, and (b) Being a Republican in Cincinnati is just too fucking easy... Leslie Ghiz's puerile huffing and puffing over Laketa Cole was a disappointment even to those of us who expect stupidity from Ghiz. SOCIAL MEDIA FAIL.
2) Cincinnati voters. Apparently, acting like a bratty child and making a fool out of oneself is not enough to turn off voters. Both Ghiz and Cole got re-elected. VOTER FAIL.
1) Issue 9. The issue that exposed the NAACP and COAST as circus sideshows run by circus clowns, the issue that was "about letting the people decide" ended up going just that. BACKASSWARDS FAIL.
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