Top 10 Cincinnati Fails 2009

10) WBDZ. You gotta give WBDZ some credit. Year after year of on-air racism, ignorance and outright absurdity and yet somehow Bill Cunningham seems to get all the attention. A couple of gems from 2009 are the theory that "they" invented HIV/AIDS to "wipe out" black people, and Chris Smitherman's claim that young black men will not be allowed to ride the streetcar. RATIONALITY FAIL.

9) The Banks Project. An opportunity for a world class waterfront development, the Banks Project instead typified Cincinnati's modus operandi when it comes to progress: too many chiefs, political bickering and default authority to men in suits. The result? A glorified strip mall. VISION FAIL.

8) Downtown "Tea Party" protest. Nothing more than a circus of ignorant suburban white people who can't spell, read or think, this dittohead parade was a spectacle so ridiculous it can't even be parodied. It's hard to choose a favorite sign but I'll go with "Get an AMERICAN dog!" PROTEST FAIL.

7) Metropole lawsuit HUD complaint. Reasonable people agree that there is a major incongruity in this list: CAC, Nicholson's, Bootsy's, Righteous Room, Jeff Ruby's, Aronoff Center, Nada and low income housing. Reasonable people also agree that the dignity of Metropole tenants should be respected and they should be given assistance in relocation. Current reports suggest 3CDC is going to great lengths to do that. It's sad that Legal Aid and the Coalition for the Homeless appear more interested in exploiting the situation for activist self-aggrandizement than in actually being part of a solution that could be better for downtown and the tenants. To wit, a Legal Aid attorney as quoted in CityBeat: "What the owners of this building are trying to do is cleanse downtown of people like you. They want rich, white people.” Ah, yes, the race card... the last resort of a lost cause. BIG PICTURE FAIL.

6) It was a great year for totally ridiculous public statements, which is why this one is a 3-way tie. First is Chris Smitherman's statement that young, black men will not be allowed to ride the streetcar. Second is Jeff Ruby's Enquirer full-page ad questioning police layoffs as a budget solution. It was so replete with misinformation and ignorance that Roxanne Qualls had to put aside a good part of her morning to address all of it. And finally we have Brad Wenstrup's hilariously asinine assertion that he felt safer in Iraq than in downtown. PUBLIC STATEMENT FAIL.

5) Election year pandering. To a certain extent, this is to be expected. But when candidates promise not to consider trimming the single largest category of municipal spending in the midst of a fiscal crisis, that is special-interest pandering at its best and civic leadership at its worst. LEADERSHIP FAIL.

4) Brian Kelly. He took his team to the Sugar Bowl then lied to them then ditched them then gave a press conference in which he talked about his integrity. OFF-FIELD FAIL.

3) Leslie Ghiz. Proving my theories that (a) Twitter is a toy for people who have nothing to say to interact with people who have nothing to do, and (b) Being a Republican in Cincinnati is just too fucking easy... Leslie Ghiz's puerile huffing and puffing over Laketa Cole was a disappointment even to those of us who expect stupidity from Ghiz. SOCIAL MEDIA FAIL.

2) Cincinnati voters. Apparently, acting like a bratty child and making a fool out of oneself is not enough to turn off voters. Both Ghiz and Cole got re-elected. VOTER FAIL.

1) Issue 9. The issue that exposed the NAACP and COAST as circus sideshows run by circus clowns, the issue that was "about letting the people decide" ended up going just that. BACKASSWARDS FAIL.