16 May 2011

Rare Ducks and Giant Poops

from WVXU:

“The chase is on. There are butterflies in my stomach. But the rush of Adrenaline is intoxicating. You know the feeling. Like a teenager on your first date? Or maybe when you and your buddies were hanging around your college dorm on a Friday afternoon then impulsively decide to make a 200 mile mad dash to the Dire Straits concert three hours before start? The chase is on. There’s a Garganey in Harrison, OH.”

I'd like to give this duck the benefit of the doubt and presume it's not the one responsible for dropping fourteen-- yes, FOURTEEN-- plops of bird poop on my car this past Saturday (at once, mind you). Nine hit the windshield (itself a personal best) and when I got out to clean it up, I counted 5 more on the hood and roof.

My first thought was that there was a pterodactyl up there (come on, FOURTEEN plops?) but then I figured a big goose that ate the garbage from El Toro Mexican restaurant in Hyde Park Plaza is probably the likelier explanation.

Returning to the pterodactyl line of thought for a moment, I paused to consider the ramifications if they still existed, or more precisely, if their massive falling poops still existed. In the early days of the automobile many people would have been killed. Only when materials, especially glass, could be made strong enough would car travel be truly safe from the threat of pterodactyl poops. We are indeed fortunate not to have to face this threat.

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