21 June 2009

Beer Fail

I was staying at a cabin in Kentucky one time and I went out to get some beer. Went to a couple country stores but they didn't have any beer. The third one also didn't have any but this time I asked the guy at the counter why no one had any beer. "Largest dry county in the United States," he told me.

But he had some Olympia in the back which he sold me for an unreasonable price. I opened one up later that evening. It was so bad that I could barely swallow it. I've had crappy beer, I thought... I should be able to do this. But all I could manage was a few gulps, that's it. It tasted like swamp water marinated with Godzilla's old, sweaty underwear. Absolutely unpalatable.

I believe that disgusting batch of Olympia has met its match with the inexplicable recrudescence of a bad beer hall-of-famer, Burger. When someone who wants to drink beer won't drink a Burger, it means the line between "brewery" and "chemical processing facility" has gotten a bit fuzzier.

Just walk away.


liz said...

burger beer makes me want to kill myself

Kasmira said...

Ha! Once, drunk and out of money, I asked a bartender what he would give me for 50 cents. It was a can of Olympia. It even tasted bad wasted.

WestEnder said...

I would have given it to you for free and five dollars more if you drank it.

Inexplicable irony: it was the favorite beer of one of my high school teachers.

Brio said...

That isn't ironic or inexplicable.

WestEnder said...

It's both to the nth degree.